Counseling for some teenagers can seem like such a chore. Many teenagers have no desire to go to counseling. Often times, their behavior doesn’t bother them at all. It only bothers the parents. A good rule of thumb before bringing your teenager to counseling is to ask whether the behavior is more disruptive to the teens life, or to the family’s life. If you feel the behavior is wrecking havoc on the family, then family counseling might be the better option in the long-run. Normally, a good form of practice is for the therapist to meet with the teenager for some individual sessions, simply to build a relationship with them before doing a full family session. This allows for the teenager to feel like the therapist isn’t biased to the parents.
If your teenager is suffering from things such as depression, anxiety, gender dysphoria, self-harming behaviors, etc, then these behaviors are more likely disruptive to the teenager’s life than it is the family system. This is when individual counseling is needed most.
Your teenager can expect that the first several sessions will be focused on relationship-building. Who wants to tell their secrets and problems to a complete stranger? The goal of the relationship-building sessions is for both the teenager and the therapist to get to know each other so that each session feels more and more comfortable. With time, your teenager should feel less like they’re talking to a stranger, and more like they’re talking to a trusted friend (with way better listening skills and thoughts than their actual friends). Once the relationship is built, it’s then important to focus on things such as emotional regulation, healthy coping skills, relationship/social skills, safe technology practices, as well as self-esteem and identity. There are other topics that will be focused on as well, but those are some of the most common ones that teenagers are needing.
Parents will always be involved in their teenager’s progress. Whether this is by occasional family sessions, or just periodic updates at the beginning of some individual sessions. Parents should feel welcome to request family sessions or progress updates.
The main thing that so many parents deal with when it comes to counseling for their teenagers is that the teenager doesn’t want to come, or the teenager doesn’t want to miss some important event or plans. My recommendation is that you make counseling as convenient as possible for your teenager, in the beginning. Scheduling appointments during times when your teenager regularly has extracurricular activities or football games they like to go to is only going to cause more push-back from your teen. School excuses are offered for counseling and I have found that teenagers are more willing to miss a class than they are a sports game where they normally get to visit with their friends. This is simply a suggestions for those parents who have reluctant or resistant-to-counseling teenagers. Once your teenager builds a relationship with me and feels more comfortable, scheduling appointments will get easier. The process takes some time and patience, but all good things are built on these two things!
Please feel free to call for a consultation and we can come up with a plan that will work best for your teenager! Also, if you’re unsure if your teenager would benefit from individual counseling or from family counseling, give me a call and we can discuss what might be most effective.
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