It has been a bit since I've written a blog. I have no good excuse except that it has been a busy season with many highs and many lows. The lows are what prompted me to want to write this particular blog because I know I'm not the only one who has experienced the holiday blues.
I've had several conversations with people lately that have consisted of venting about stress, finances, failed dreams and loneliness. It made me really take a long hard look at why the holidays tend to make all of these things so much more potent. I've come to the conclusion that it's the very nature of holidays that actually creates the depth in which we feel certain emotions. Let me explain.
The nature of holidays: happiness, a sense of excitement, family connection, family interaction, holiday parties, gift giving and receiving, pretty decorations, holiday music, holiday food, time off of work, warm drinks and cozy fires. All of these things are supposed to create happy feelings inside of us, yes? So why is it that people commonly have the holiday blues? Well what if life doesn't look like that for you? What if your family is abusive and you can barely stand to be around them? What if you have to work on the holidays? What if you can't afford gifts? What if you don't get invited to parties? What if you're drinking those warm drinks and sitting by the cozy fire all by yourself because you're alone? The very nature of the holidays can actually create a pretty intense opposite reaction in those who aren't able to have or enjoy the things in which the holidays are known for.
Think about the people who are going through a divorce right now. All of their holiday traditions have gone down the drain and the whole makeup of their family dynamic has changed. What an absolutely sad and difficult time the holidays must be, surrounded by all the reminders of what they've lost and the changes that have come about. The same can go for those who are grieving the loss of a family member. The holiday traditions will never look the same. Imagine if one of their traditions was to drive through the neighborhood looking at lights with hot cocoa in their cups. Think about the pain that must cause as they pass through that neighborhood just trying to get somewhere or to get home. Reminders are everywhere and the reminders can sting so much more during a time where everyone is so happy and inside you feel like you're dying.
I don't write this blog to depress you. I write this blog in the hopes that it raises awareness during this holiday season. We must be kind, we must understand that not everyone is joyous this time of year and that's ok. They're not being a "grinch" or a "scrooge". They're coping as best they can under the weight of their pain.
I know that during the holidays for many of us we don't want to be reminded of pain and sadness. We want to bask in the excitement that comes with this time of year and by all means, please do! But if you run into someone who doesn't share in your holiday cheer, before you tell them to "smile! it's Christmas!" or "don't be sad!", maybe consider that the things and person/people who brought them holiday cheer are now gone. Love on people, show them you care, and allow them to be whatever and however they are. The holiday blues aren't fun and little bit of love and understanding can go a very long way in easing some pain. If you are suffering from the holiday blues, I encourage you to seek support, seek help and reach out to someone you trust. Say what you need and say how you feel. It's ok to not be cheerful. It's ok to be sad. It's ok to cry. It's ok to be angry. I have always said and will always say that the only way to heal from pain is to FEEL it. No matter the time of year, grief, pain, and sadness do not discriminate. Take your time and allow others to be your strength until you can once again stand up.
I pray you all have a safe holiday! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Be Happy! Be Healthy!
Until Next Time!
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